That is good advice. Seriously.
Kneel Before Me by Diego Gisbert Llorens (diegogisbertllorens.deviantart.com/art/Kneel-Before-Me-375688816)
YOU UP FOR SOME FUCKING CHAOS, DICKHEADS?
WELL? ARE YOU? YOU BETTER BE. Cos this beautiful bitch here is fucking Magnus.
Magnus the Red, everyone. He’s Red. Everywhere. He’s got red skin, red hair, red armour, and a red eye. A redder motherfucker has never lived. Primarch of the Thousand Sons legion, best psyker in the entire Chaos-damned galaxy for fuck’s sake. Save for perhaps the Emperor himself, and that bitch in the cloak that follows him around, Palpat-Eeeeh, Malcador the Sigillite. Like the rest of his Primarch brothers, he dropped out of space in a pod when he was still a baby, for fuck’s sake. And he landed on the remote colony of Prospero, a place filled with psykers of all sorts. He bested everyone, and after a big war with some bitches called Psychneuein, he took control of the whole planet.
This fuck can look into the warp. He disregarded all sorts of dangers to his mind and body, such as a spontaneous explosion, or worse, implosion, in order to attain more, and more knowledge.
Then, the Emperor came around, and told him not to fuck with the Warp that much, explaining the aforementioned implosions. But Magnus, although he listened, and took careful notes, didn’t exactly follow the Emperor’s orders.
AND THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S A TRAITOROUS DOG LOLOLOLOLOL.NO. He is not. In fact, out of all the Primarchs, he’s the greatest victim of circumstance, or in other words, Tzeentch’s personal toy.
Then came the Decree of Nikaea, where the use of psychic powers was forbidden, and therefore Magnus was left without the greatest weapons in his arsenal. Saying he was a little miffed would be a grand understatement. But, being the loyal goddamn son that he was, Magnus obeyed, and went on with the Great Crusade under his father’s orders.
Until one day, THIS FUCK decided to give Horus wet dreams, so Magnus, like the knight in shining fucking armour that he is, decided to jump into the fray, and show up in front of Horus like a wolf (I know. Horus Heresy and irony are practically synonyms.) and tries to bring him back to his senses. But, he fails miserably, because the other fuck sucks better dicks. What a dirty way to be defeated in.
So, terrified of Horus’s imminent betrayal, he desperately seeks a way to get to the Emprah. Yet again, he fails. Seriously, the entire Horus Heresy could have been avoided, if the writers let him succeed in anything. ANYWAY. He tries to grab a hold of the Big E, and in the process, breaks his Webway project. The Emprah, enraged, sends Russ and his legion of Space Puppies to get Magnus back to Terra for interrogation.
Horus, of course, changes these orders, and sends Russ to kill poor Magnus instead. Seriously, this man’s entire story is about one insane failure after the other. Prospero burns, and so do many of his sons. And so does his back, when Russ breaks it over his knee. No, really. This actually happened. So, having gained lifelong back problems, and a new home in the Warp, he sits on his ass, until the end of the Horus Heresy, where he joins with the Warmaster’s forces. In the meantime, he broods his awful fate, mourns the death of his soldiers and his world, and has a few chats with Lorgar, who will most probably be next in this series.
He’s now a Deamon Primarch, and a fuckhuge creature. He also got half his legion turned into dust. Literally. It was by another fuck, Ahriman, one of the First Captain-Chaplain Asshole Brigade, who cast a spell to stop mutations on the legion. He exiled the asshole for it, and is trying to save his legion even now.
A notable achievement of his as of late, is showing up on the Space
PuppiesWolves homeworld, and WRECKING THEIR SHIT thirty different ways to Sunday. Gentlemen. Ladies. Anything else that might be watching. Witness the grandeur of the greatest woobie Primarch. The man that had it all, and saw it being taken from him, one at a time. You bitches better show some respect, or he’ll turn your brain into ice-cream.
This is an awesome summation of Magnus
No time to explain, get in the Rhino.
“Get in heritic, we’re going shopping”
(Source: prilladog, via nudityandnerdery)
alliseeistokuandimgoingmad asked: I'm wanting to get into WH40k on the Tabletop (since I've only been playing Dawn of War and the other video games thus far) and I wanted to know, in your opinion what is a good army for a beginner? I'm interested in Eldar but I also am greatly intrigued by the Tau and the Thousand Sons. Help?
This is why I love that 40k has some awesome video games and books. I’ve seen so many people start the hobby for the same reason!
Ok, for picking an army, I never suggest picking the ‘best’ (most competitive) army. I always suggest picking the army that fits your play-style. If you enjoy the army and how it plays, you will have a lot more fun.
The next tip, don’t worry to much about winning, enjoy the game. If you lose (which you will a lot as a beginner), talk with your opponent after the game. Figure out what you did wrong/how you can improve. It’ll take some time, but that is how I got better.
The next thing: Painting. Don’t get discouraged if your painting sucks. (I would be mortified if ya’ll saw my first paintings, they were awful). Also, don’t compare your first paintjob to all the wonderfuls pictures you see online, those are professionals. For painting improvements all you need to do is talk to veterans who love to help, get a good paint plan together, and practice, practice, practice.
Ok, Now the last thing I want to talk about; which army to choose: Tau, Thousand Sons, and Eldar.
The Tau is one of the best Shooting army there is. Their Firewarriors have one of the best gun for a troop choice. My favorite thing about them is all the different battlesuits that can carry a great variety of deadly guns. This army works best when the whole army can work together, concentrate their fire and strategically dismantle the enemy.
Thousand Sons are one of my favorite. But they are difficult to play. Small in number and easily bogged down by numbers. But their psychic powers and their inferno bolts are incredibly deadly (especially to marines).
The Eldar are a great army to play, and they have plenty of new shiny stuff. Because of the Aspects, each part of the army has a dedicated purpose, and if you can get them to the right part of the battle, then they will tear stuff apart. The army is great because there are a ton of different ways to play them. You could do a wraith-centric army and have a really tough force marching forward, impervious to small arms. You could have a Saim-hann jetbike army zipping around the battlefield to harass the enemy. Or you could have an army of guardians and dire avengers supported by other aspects.
whatever you choose make sure it is an army you will enjoy putting together/ reading about/ and playing with. Hopefully this helps, I’ll be glad to answer any other questions you have, and if you pick Eldar, Red can answer even more questions than I can.